The Catalyst

A Thin Line Between Love and Fear

Kira Brock, Opinion Writer

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abuseEmotional abuse is not like physical abuse. It can’t be seen, or examined, like a broken bone by a doctor. It can only be felt by the person who is abused; whose love for his or her partner is slowly diminishing into nothing but fear. Being emotionally abused is like someone breaking into your house and you can’t do anything about it. They just waltz right into your home, destroying your belongings as they go. No more family pictures of smiles on the beach. No more glass vases holding the sweet smell of roses. No more self-esteem. No more confidence.

Emotional, or psychological abuse, is defined as a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. In other words, emotional abuse is one person stripping away everything that makes a person who they are. They have to calculate every word that they say, and how they say it, as to not upset their partner. They are forever walking on eggshells. One wrong word and your partner is making you feel like everything’s your fault, and that you have no right to feel a certain way, and you’re so beaten down you automatically start the string of apologies said a hundred times before, telling them you’ll make up for it, promising you’ll do better. Telling them you know it’s all your fault, that everything is all your fault, because over the weeks, or months, or years, they have convinced you of the worst of yourself. You’re just a toy to them.  They get to push your buttons, play with your feelings and emotions, and you’re a lifeless creature sitting there being forced to take it. No spirit left- practically soulless.

Walking away from an abuser is not as simple as people think. “He hurt you. Just leave” Its not that easy. He has beat you down, and has you thinking you won’t do better. That you can’t do better. You deserve this love- this pain. “We accept the love we think we deserve” completely applies to people who are abused, which is exactly why it is so hard to leave. But in everyone’s life there is a point where they are just done. Done meaning one of two things: death, or freedom. Freedom means hope, and finding the strength to leave. There’s always hope, so you can always leave.

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A Thin Line Between Love and Fear